I don't know if it happens to everyone. Maybe its just me, but everytime time I see a good action movie or tv show, I really want to spar, fight, unleash some form voilence brought about by the warrior's call burning within my blood. I'm not saying that I really want to cause pain, suffering, death and the like to anyone, but at the same time I want to fight. Whether it be with weapon in hand or my hands bare, I want to pulverize my way to glory. For love, for justice, for honor... any or all, perhaps others. Of course none of them for "vile" or "evil" purpose. I know that for some, violence itself is a vile and evil purpose regardless of the reasoning and situation. To those individuals I suppose only harsh judgements can be laid against my desires. However I have a broader gaze that sees the need for violence as balance, Yin and Yang, one that must be allowed in order to maintain the balance of self and society.
No matter your view or opinions on the matter, I just really wish such movies were interactive and I could let out all my energy on the screen, but until that time I guess I need to start taking my sparring buddies to action flicks.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
I WANT TO BELIEVE
I have started to "dream" again. Of course I realize that whenever one enters REM sleep one is experiencing a dream state and without REM sleep one could not survive. I have been relatively healthy for 25 or so years so I must me REM-ing and therefore dreaming, but I am of course referring to the ability to remember and retain the actual contents of those nocturnal musings of the subconscious. I digress... In my life I have rarely dreamt of individuals I knew in rational scenarios. I have dreamt of my family being attacked and turning into vampire/zombie like creatures and being unable to stop it, I have flown around the gym of my elementary school, frozen time and a girl I had a crush on, I have rescued a girl from the clutches of psychotic boyfriend with a Tommy Gun, but never involving real situations at least until a few weeks ago. I dreamt that I was in a relationship with a girl I know. Everything in the dream was vivid and rationally composed. Not even one element of the bizarre or unrealistic was present. Its probably just because I had been thinking about her a lot lately and the idea of a relationship with her has crossed my mind, but the fact still stands.
I usually try not place too much weight on the murmurings of my rational mind's rest, but every once in a while strange things happen. For example, I never and I mean never dreamt of my grandmother until the night before she died. Again... it could be possible that I had and not remembered, but as far as I can remember, I had not. In fact the dream was so vivid and disturbing that I woke up with a start and went back to sleep, but was woke up hours later to my mother in tears on the phone hearing the news. I have also had "feelings" before. I know it sounds silly and I DO NOT claim to be psychic or a medium or anything of the sort, but there have been things that I cannot easily shrug off as fluke or a law of large numbers occurrence. Maybe I just fall too closely behind Fox Mulder and "I want to believe" so badly in the supernatural, higher powers, destiny, grand plans, and the like that I even entertain such notions. I don't know...
I want think that it is a "sign" that I should do something and things will just workout and fall into place like in the romantic comedies that I tend to indulge in more often than I'd like to admit. Then again I have also have dreamt that I was staring consciously upward as one decrepit zombie woman slowly and painlessly tore off pieces of my flesh and gave it to another "healthy" woman who upon refusal of her "Jimwich" was attack and gruesomely mauled by the zombie woman. I have no reason to even entertain this as a sign or possibility of occurrence. Why do I even grasp at the other straw-like dream? Am I a hopeless romantic, a blind fool, a mystic, an optimistic realist, am I John looking for a revelation, a leader looking for a direction to lead, a flawed machine, or maybe another isolated mind searching for meaning outside the vacuum? Maybe I'm all, maybe I'm none, perhaps a mix. I don't know... Whatever the case, I do know that I want to believe.
I usually try not place too much weight on the murmurings of my rational mind's rest, but every once in a while strange things happen. For example, I never and I mean never dreamt of my grandmother until the night before she died. Again... it could be possible that I had and not remembered, but as far as I can remember, I had not. In fact the dream was so vivid and disturbing that I woke up with a start and went back to sleep, but was woke up hours later to my mother in tears on the phone hearing the news. I have also had "feelings" before. I know it sounds silly and I DO NOT claim to be psychic or a medium or anything of the sort, but there have been things that I cannot easily shrug off as fluke or a law of large numbers occurrence. Maybe I just fall too closely behind Fox Mulder and "I want to believe" so badly in the supernatural, higher powers, destiny, grand plans, and the like that I even entertain such notions. I don't know...
I want think that it is a "sign" that I should do something and things will just workout and fall into place like in the romantic comedies that I tend to indulge in more often than I'd like to admit. Then again I have also have dreamt that I was staring consciously upward as one decrepit zombie woman slowly and painlessly tore off pieces of my flesh and gave it to another "healthy" woman who upon refusal of her "Jimwich" was attack and gruesomely mauled by the zombie woman. I have no reason to even entertain this as a sign or possibility of occurrence. Why do I even grasp at the other straw-like dream? Am I a hopeless romantic, a blind fool, a mystic, an optimistic realist, am I John looking for a revelation, a leader looking for a direction to lead, a flawed machine, or maybe another isolated mind searching for meaning outside the vacuum? Maybe I'm all, maybe I'm none, perhaps a mix. I don't know... Whatever the case, I do know that I want to believe.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The Perfect Girl
Lately I've been watching a lot of 80's movies again and not just any 80's movies. I've been watching things like Mannequin, Date With An Angel, Can't Buy Me Love, Ghostbusters, Superman, and Back to the Future I-III. The first three movies being the most recently watched. I realize that they are really cheesy and not the best movies in the world, but I continue to watch them. Subconsciously and sometimes actively and consciously wishing to find the the perfect girl like Jonathan Switcher or Jim Sanders. I mean, these guys literally had beautiful women thrust upon them by forces outside their control and despite everything trying to keep them apart, Jonathan and Jim get the girl. Even Ronald Miller of Can't Buy Me Love got the girl despite all of his screw ups. Perhaps its just the hopeless romantic within me desperately clinging to the hope that real love works the same way. Perhaps the only reason that I am still alone is that she merely hasn't found me yet. However my continued studies, philosophical rationality and scientific observation constantly deflate my optimistic indulgence into the romantic. Statistics would say that the odds are stacked against me, some friends say "she doesn't exist," and physics says that there is one out there but not necessarily in this dimension. All these voices chip away at the base of my hope. Only by repeated ingesting of such movies am I able to maintain my blissful fancies of the hope. Without any proof and only blind faith that I will find her, It's time for another cheesy romantic movie to recharge my hope.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Time Travel
Always loved the concept. I love "Back To The Future," "Heroes," "Doctor Who," "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure," the Terminators, "Star Trek: The Voyage Home," "Primeval," ... Basically anything with time travel in it. Of course logistics, philosophies and perspectives regarding this "fictional" mode of transportation are widely debated and diverse. I and a few of my friends have often debated our views on the subject matter and our personal views regarding issues such as feasibility, extent of influence, consequences, and repercussions. There is of course the several view points regarding time travel. For the sake of clarity I will spell the ones that I and my friends have come up with. I have tried the lay them out as best as I can into 3 groups with subcategories per group. Revisions will, I'm certain, come later.
1. The theory of minor alterations - changes in the past can effect the present in small ways without drastically changing the present and/or the future.
a. Instantaneous change - the mere intent to change go back in time to alter the present effect the here and now without first traveling through time. (i.e. Bill and Ted)
b. Rippling change - the present is not altered until after the travel changes the past, and those in the present/future are changed. (i.e. Back to the Future)
c. Redo - the travel can jump back in time and alter present outcomes by merely making a different decision to affect the present/future. (i.e. Next)
2. The theory of cataclysmic change or the butterfly effect - no matter how small the change in the past, the present and future can be altered both drastically and unpredictably.
a. The precarious scale - all choices in the past can shift the balance of positive or negative outcomes drastically. (i.e. Butterfly Effect)
b. The Reaper's consequence - not all choices truly affect the present/future, only those regarding the life and death of a given entity or entities.
3. The theory of continuity - the invention of time travel cannot affect anything because the past is finite and any changes done in the past by the traveler were meant to happen because they already happened and nothing can be changed. (one's traveling from present to past had to happen and did already. Of course these form paradoxes in logic and indeed space/time)
a. The painter's canvas - regardless of what is done in the past, the present/future unfolds the same because it had already happened. (i.e. The Time Machine)
Of course there are also theories that compromise and try to blend all or at least 2 categories together:
The illusion of control - time travel can change events in the past, but there are some events that are inevitable and can only be postponed at best (i.e. Terminator 3 and Doctor Who)
The janitor's duty - the traveler can maintain the present/future through action in the past, but failure results in cataclysmic change to present/future. (i.e. Primeval and Doctor Who)
There are even ideas regarding the limits of time travel: can't cross over your own timeline, can't transport anything artificial through time/space, fuel, duration, lack of guidance regarding destination, paradox of meeting yourself, paradox of making yourself into existence, paradox of being your own destruction, unable to save certain entities, the limit of past or future, or limit of mode of transport (i.e. consciousness, body, car, spaceship, journal, etc.)
Of course I do not believe most limitations imposed by Hollywood regarding this mode of transportation, but the philosophies hold a lot of weight and I personally continue to struggle with them. Certain theories imply deterministic philosophies and others "Free Will," this alone is a source of debate that has existed since man first applied rational existential thought. I've been working on this for far longer than I should have and should get back to other things. I leave you with this information and these thought to ponder, struggle with and critique because I know my friends and I will continue to do the same. Until next I write don't step on any butterflies.
1. The theory of minor alterations - changes in the past can effect the present in small ways without drastically changing the present and/or the future.
a. Instantaneous change - the mere intent to change go back in time to alter the present effect the here and now without first traveling through time. (i.e. Bill and Ted)
b. Rippling change - the present is not altered until after the travel changes the past, and those in the present/future are changed. (i.e. Back to the Future)
c. Redo - the travel can jump back in time and alter present outcomes by merely making a different decision to affect the present/future. (i.e. Next)
2. The theory of cataclysmic change or the butterfly effect - no matter how small the change in the past, the present and future can be altered both drastically and unpredictably.
a. The precarious scale - all choices in the past can shift the balance of positive or negative outcomes drastically. (i.e. Butterfly Effect)
b. The Reaper's consequence - not all choices truly affect the present/future, only those regarding the life and death of a given entity or entities.
3. The theory of continuity - the invention of time travel cannot affect anything because the past is finite and any changes done in the past by the traveler were meant to happen because they already happened and nothing can be changed. (one's traveling from present to past had to happen and did already. Of course these form paradoxes in logic and indeed space/time)
a. The painter's canvas - regardless of what is done in the past, the present/future unfolds the same because it had already happened. (i.e. The Time Machine)
Of course there are also theories that compromise and try to blend all or at least 2 categories together:
The illusion of control - time travel can change events in the past, but there are some events that are inevitable and can only be postponed at best (i.e. Terminator 3 and Doctor Who)
The janitor's duty - the traveler can maintain the present/future through action in the past, but failure results in cataclysmic change to present/future. (i.e. Primeval and Doctor Who)
There are even ideas regarding the limits of time travel: can't cross over your own timeline, can't transport anything artificial through time/space, fuel, duration, lack of guidance regarding destination, paradox of meeting yourself, paradox of making yourself into existence, paradox of being your own destruction, unable to save certain entities, the limit of past or future, or limit of mode of transport (i.e. consciousness, body, car, spaceship, journal, etc.)
Of course I do not believe most limitations imposed by Hollywood regarding this mode of transportation, but the philosophies hold a lot of weight and I personally continue to struggle with them. Certain theories imply deterministic philosophies and others "Free Will," this alone is a source of debate that has existed since man first applied rational existential thought. I've been working on this for far longer than I should have and should get back to other things. I leave you with this information and these thought to ponder, struggle with and critique because I know my friends and I will continue to do the same. Until next I write don't step on any butterflies.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
1st post or something
The longer I live and the farther I get from the time I took naps as a part of school curriculum, the more I yearn for sleep. I always had trouble taking naps at kindergarten and I even went as far as to feign sleep on many occasions just to appease the teacher. Now I find myself drifting in and out of dreams and feigning consciousness. Maybe my body is just trying to bring my life back into balance...
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